omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Alive.
So much puke
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
