I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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