I have demons in me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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