My nipple is on Facebook.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
