why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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