Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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