so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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