sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
