you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
