I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
well you can't waste a boner
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
