Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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