My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
