Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
