after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
