Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
