I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
