so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
