I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you win again, gameday.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Are we still banned from the library?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
