no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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