His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
