Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
