The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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