I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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