dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
