apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
