I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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