I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
where am i from again
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
