he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize