we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
