Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
