haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
