I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
