wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
