did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
