i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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