and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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