I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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