youre lurking in front of me
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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