Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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