you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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