eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
