Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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