Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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