What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
