Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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