New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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