GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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