he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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