omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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