Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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