Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
