you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
