it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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