Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
