I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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